Our minds work in a funny way. When we say we like people or when we judge people, in 90% of situations with 90% of people*, all we do is super-impose our own image upon them and pick the attribute that resembles us. For, to the mind, “I” is the frame of reference for all things.
This may not be a bad thing, depending on the context. I will take a very simple example.
Organized people don’t like disorganized people: If your desk is a mess, if you don’t value time, if you are someone that compromises on integrity to get by everyday situations, chances are the “organized people” don’t like you. Not necessarily because they made a conscious choice not to like you, simply because they are incompatible with you. For them, you are difficult to work with.
Disorganized people don’t like organized people: If your desk is a mess, if you don’t value time, if you are someone that compromises on integrity to get by everyday situations, chances are that you like other people who are like you. Why? It is very easy to work with someone that is as messed up as you are. Output will go for a toss, but hey, the lizard brain** can’t care less about that.
So, the next time you think you like someone, ask yourself do you like them because they resemble you? Or is it because you admire a quality in them, irrelevant to whether you possess it or not?
*90% is a metaphor **”lizard brain” is Seth Godin jargon. If you don’t understand the term, it simply means you haven’t read his works. PS: Many experts have already written about self-realization, actualization etc…I have not read them, but I think I am on to “figuring it out” myself