In the Western world and much of the rest of the world, there is an implicit need of individualism that wants them not to be judged. For the smallest action or word towards someone, it is not uncommon to hear the words, “Don’t judge me”
We are all adults that earn the capability to form judgments from our day to day lives. Whether we realize it or not, we judge all the time. For without judging, how do you decide? Without deciding how do you move on in your life? Do you go left or right? Do you invest in certain equity or not? Do you leave this job or cling on to it? Do you trust someone to leave your kids with or not?
We all make judgments and that’s what gives us any chance of being a rational being. “Do not judge, ye shall not be judged” comes from the school of mysticism and softness.
I was once in a flight from Brussels to Chennai, when my co-passenger was a middle-aged lady, mother of a son, whom she chose to leave in India — while she worked in the US to make a living. She had apprehensions about India and constantly kept telling me, “I am going to try hard not to judge, so I can be peaceful”.
It suddenly occurred to me and I had told her, “May be you SHOULD try judging, for you will be judged anyways. May be that’s an easier way to be peaceful.” I think it might have dawned on her — that thought.
I think — most people when they say “Don’t judge me”, what they really mean is, “Don’t stereotype me”. I think that that is a fair expectation (hey, but we don’t live in a fair world). People are worried that are judged based on casts, but reality is, you don’t really control HOW other people judge you. The best you can do to them is judge them back.